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Sunday, December 6, 2009

Hu’s The Communist: Sarah Palin Knocks 'em Dead At Annual Gridiron Dinner

Sarah Palin was in Washington, D.C. for the annual Gridiron Dinner. This 124 year old event is basically the media and politician’s version of a Comedy Central Roast. This event gives media and politicians a chance to trade barbs, and frankly, get to know each other.

The affair is historically off the record, but for the first time in history the media was allowed to use twitter. One guess as to why!

The two Keynote Speakers were Sarah followed by Congressman Barney Frank.

As expected, the tweets were flying! (pardon the pun)

Here’s a taste of the event. We took these from CNN’s John Roberts. The parts in quotations are his remarks, the rest is mine:

"124-yr-old journalists' group -gridiron club-tonite for first time allows limited cvg, allowing mbrs to tweet. S Palin & B Frank r guests"

She made fun of John Kerry's joke that backfired and pissed the troops off in 2004.

Kerry's lame joke was about not doing well in school and getting stuck in Iraq. (Aimed at George Bush)

Sarah's: "just trust your intuition and then you don't you end up in a place like this." (meaning the Gidiron Dinner)

Sarah joked that normally a democrat speaker got to give the rebuttal at these things but: "McCain campaign staff asked if they could have that time for rebuttal."

Called the media "death panels."

Took a swipe at Steve Schmidt who was McCain's campaign manager: "if I need a bald campaign manager, I guess all i am left with is james carville."

"Palin joke in speech re book travels : "the view is so much better from inside the bus than under it.".

"Her parents in for speech-standing ovation"

"Palin jokes book title debate included "the audacity of the north slope."

"Gov palin speech done. Full of funny zingers. Says if McCain won, Biden book would be "Going Rogaine""

"Rep Frank also funny. Palin nods as he says newspapers "piss me off" on specifics a lot but " in general " need strong media." (Sarah's degree is in journalism)

"Chairman frank mocks Twitter: "not that interested in what Claire mcckaskill has for lunch."

"Frank jokes nj gov Christie win makes "politics safe for fat guys." says his reality show would be "king of queens"

This was posted at C4P:

The night closed with the Gridiron Singers rendition of the 12 Days of Christmas, with gifts bestowed by a certain Ruth Limbaugh rather than the traditional "True Love."

"On the first day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: A Marxist in a dead tree.

On the second day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Two tea-bag goons.

On the third day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Three hell-no's

On the fourth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Four bawling Becks

On the fifth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Five Sarah swoon-ins

On the sixth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Six health care death squads

On the seventh day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Seven bug-eyed birthers

On the eight day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Eight Cheney boomlets

On the ninth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Nine ACORN busters

On the tenth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Ten thundering mossbacks

On the eleventh day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: Eleven loony liberals

On the twelfth day of Christmas, Rush Limbaugh gave to me: twelve flaming liberals, hunted down in the wild and field dressed, medium well-done, seared on the fatty edges—"

And then Palin joined the chorus for the final line:

"Right next to the mashed potatoes," she sang."

The "seared on the fatty edges—" and "Right next to the mashed potatoes" is straight from her book talking about how she likes her meat. In her book she laments the fact that her critics must think all meat just comes wrapped in cellophane. That they have no clue it comes wrapped in fur and hide first!

As far as her Presidential ambitions go. She told the audience that on Sunday she'd be in Iowa — "from noon to three at Barnes and Noble. Come early, long lines are expected."

Sarah also joked about the fact that the D.C. elite rarely read books like hers, instead rushing to the index to see if they are mentioned. These same elites were flabbergasted to hear that Going Rogue, An American Life, contains no index! So she made one up for them:

"A: Alaska, media not understanding it, page 1-432."

"B: Biased, Page 1-432."

While I don’t have the exact quote, this is my favorite joke of the night:

Sarah joked that she was looking at a magazine cover of Obama and Chinese President Hu Jinato during an airplane flight. A nearby passenger stated, "Hu's the Communist" Sarah said: "I thought he was asking a question."


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